Kyoto, Days Off

Kyoto is my favorite city that I've visited on this trip so far. It is amazing and beautiful and has nature and history and architecture and shrines and temples and fun bars and fun people and is really simply the best amazing wonderful so so so so good.

When I hear "Kyoto", obviously my first thought is Phoebe Bridgers. Someone in Kyoto actually said "oh yeah you look like the type of guy who would listen to Phoebe Bridgers" which I think is probably true but also next time just skip the euphemisms and say that I look mentally ill and/or bisexual. Anyways, when in Kyoto...

June 29-30: Kyoto

We hopped on the bullet train (LETS FUCKING GO TRAINS ARE BACK WOOOOO YES I AM GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS EVERY TIME A TRAIN APPEARS IN THE BLOG WHICH IS A LOT OF TIMES) to Kyoto and dropped our stuff off at our capsule hotel, which was the same brand as the one we'd stayed at in Tokyo, but this time only $20 a night. Already a strong start.

We walked through the crowded, historic cobblestone streets of Higashiyama to reach the Kiyomizu-dera temple.

This temple is over 1200 years old, and has an amazing view over Kyoto and has many buildings spread throughout its grounds.

Miles and I wandered these until we found a tiny path that went farther up the mountain and decided to check it out and see where it led. Because what could possibly go wrong with wandering onto a random trail with signs in a language we don't speak? Turns out, this was an entrance to the "Kyoto Trail", and we ended up in very thick forest on a legitimate hike.

We only saw 2 other people in the 2 hours we spent wandering along the trail, although we saw several concerning signs about the dangerous wildlife in the area which just made Miles go "whoaa that would be so cool if we saw one."

There were lots of ancient stone statues and monuments along the trail, many of which had completely eroded into vaguely Buddha-shaped moss-covered rocks. Miles asked me "have you seen 'The Ritual'?" and I said "no but please do not explain the plot of it to me right now."

Eventually, the trail led us to the Shogunzawa mound at the top of a mountain. This is a mound of dirt where according to legends, the emperor had sat and looked over Kyoto before deciding to make it the capital in 794, and buried a statue of a Shogun (general) underneath the mound to protect the city. You can't see the statue (because it's buried, duh) so it's literally just a mound of dirt. However, there is also a beautiful old martial arts training facility which has an amazing observation platform looking out over the entirety of Kyoto.

Our walk back took us through Marayuma park and shrine, a beautiful zen garden and temple, where we grabbed a crab stick that was like eating delicious rubber.

We took VERY necessary showers before walking through Pontocho Alley, a 5-foot wide alley spanning many blocks with tons of bars and restaurants.

We got dinner at one of these places, which featured a massive back porch on stilts overlooking the river, and then grabbed drinks at a nice bar farther down the alley.

I immediately had fallen in love with Kyoto—in just half a day, with a minimal plan, walking everywhere, we'd seen amazing shrines, temples, nature, restaurants, and bars. It was all so easy and so fantastic.

I was pretty tired after walking 24000 steps and I was SO far behind on my blog writing—which is very unsurprising if you've been keeping up and watching me get farther and farther away from the dates I'm describing—and so I went back to the hostel. Miles wasn't ready to turn in, though, so he headed to another bar for a nightcap.

Jamie's Night

Back at the hostel, I sat in the lobby working on my blog for approximately 20 minutes before I grabbed a drink and joined into a conversation with a bunch of folks who were also drinking in the lobby. I was the only American in the group, and their last interaction with an American had been a San Francisco tech bro who had only talked about AI the entire time he was there. I (sarcastically) said, "Well, of course he did, AI is the future and the only future and the best future." Nobody riffed on this and I discovered that (since they don't interact with Americans regularly), the American sarcasm did not translate. I quickly explained that I was being sarcastic—which is always a great sign that your jokes are hitting—and so I was dubbed "Jamie the sarcastic American." Definitely not the worst nickname I've been given.

They told me that they were about to leave for a 2 hour all-you-can-drink karaoke before going to watch Japan's World Cup game at 2 AM and that I should join. I told them no, I couldn't possibly, I'm way too tired and I NEED to finish this blog post. Charlie, one of the Australians, looked at me and said "here's what's going to happen: we're going to leave, and in 5 minutes, you're going to shut that laptop and come join us because you won't want to miss out on this."

She must have been a soothsayer.

We had a fantastic time at karaoke. One of the women who worked at the hostel had joined us and did some of the most amazing singing/rapping of a CREEPY NUTS (Japanese band) song and I learned that Japanese people do not fuck around when it comes to karaoke. Which should have been obvious since they literally invented it and there's a karaoke parlor or two on almost every block. I decided to show them that Americans don't fuck around when it comes to gangster rap (since we literally invented it) and so I went for the hardest, most badass song that's ever been written: "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore. This is when someone made the comment that I look like the kind of guy who listens to Phoebe Bridgers. Fair enough.

We walked over to a nearby club/sports bar showing the game (and also doing an all-you-can-drink special) which was PACKED. We somehow managed to squeeze through the downstairs area to the slightly less packed (but still absolutely completely packed) upstairs area, where mostly young mostly Japanese mostly men screamed and chanted throughout the entire game. Most of their chants were just "Niiii-poooon" ("Nipon" is Japanese for Japan) so it was very easy to join in.

The Australians taught me a bunch of new slang, and I learned that American and Australian slang are near opposites—specifically, in Australia, the worst thing you can call someone is a dog, while the best thing you can call someone is a "sick cunt". I was horrified and explained to them that if I were to refer to anybody, especially a woman, this way in the states, my mother would never speak to me again and I would completely understand it. Upon hearing this, they immediately demanded that I call them "sick cunts" and I said that I really don't want to use the c-word it feels so awful and gross to say and they said oh my god he called it "the c-word" and Alex screamed in my face "CALL ME A SICK CUNT RIGHT NOW!!!" and I called her a sick cunt and everybody cheered and said it was the best night ever while I resisted the urge to run to the bathroom and rinse my mouth out with soap. Australians, man. What a bunch of sick cunts.

It was an great game—Japan went up 1-0 and the entire place went FERAL. I learned that even if Japanese people are still relatively demure at rap concerts, they are NOT when it's 3 AM and they've been doing all-you-can-drink and Japan scores a goal in the World Cup playoffs.

Unfortunately, Brazil came from behind to win 2-1 with just minutes left in regulation. But it turns out the Japanese are both good winners and good losers—everybody clapped politely when the final whistle blew, cleaned up after themselves, and left saying "it was a good game, they did so well." Nobody got into a fistfight or flipped cars or set anything on fire. A true moment of culture shock for me.

By the time the game ended, it was 4 AM, and so we went to the Family Mart convenience store for Pocari Sweat (essentially Gatorade), fried chicken, and other recovery snacks before returning to the hostel to watch the sunrise and fall asleep by 5.

250/10 evening. Kyoto RULES. I AM SO FAR BEHIND ON THIS FUCKING BLOG NOW THANKS A LOT CHARLIE

Miles's Night

Miles wandered to another bar for a drink, then noticed a casino next door and went in to play some poker. He learned that gambling is not legal in Japan, and so you are essentially paying for all-you-can-drink plus the entertainment of poker, although you cannot actually earn any of the money from the chips you win. This was devastating, because even though he was taking full advantage of the all-you-can-drink, he made an 800% profit. He made friends with the Korean guys there despite taking their "money" over and over again, and so he explained to them some gambling theory. He told me "yeah, I think they all hated me because I was pretty drunk and definitely not being nice about absolutely destroying them." But this is also Miles, so I'm guessing they were obsessed with him like everybody else in Japan and he was just too drunk to realize this.

He bought a chocolate donut from Family Mart and stumbled back to the hostel at 4 AM, where he watched seven minutes of "Hot Tub Time Machine" on his phone and fell asleep cradling the half-eaten donut. What I would give to be 19 again.

For any of you who are thinking "wait you left your 19 year old friend to wander around alone in Japan??? You split up for a whole night???"

1. I had his location and we texted each other updates throughout the night and I invited him to join me at every stop!! He had his best night and I had my best night.
2. Japan is SO SAFE. Literally one of the safest countries in the entire world.
3. He is a big boy!!! With a good head on his shoulders!!! And people in Japan have been bending over backwards to make sure he is happy and thriving so I knew he would be fine.
4. I think it's important and good and formative to strike out on your own and experience other places solo, especially when you're young! When I was 18, I went to Guatemala on my own and spent many a night drunker than I should have been with strangers, wandering through places that were far less safe than Japan. And look how I turned out!! A guy who calls women "sick cunts"!! In Guatemala, I learned so much about people, myself, what being American means to other non-Americans, and just how to navigate the world in general. I was hopeful Miles would get to have some of these experiences and learn some of these things and he definitely did! Although he did it with far more pretty privilege than I did—I had to pay for all my own drinks 🙄

The next morning, er, um, 2 PM... We woke up to explore more of Kyoto. This time we went to the Northwest part of the city, where there's the Tenryu-ji temple and the Arashiyama bamboo forest.

We wandered through these and the Okochi Sanso Garden, the former residence of a Japanese movie star who had built a beautiful Zen garden overlooking Kyoto from the West.

We continued walking around the area, and ended up in the 'burbs, walking with all of the small schoolchildren coming home for the day. I don't want to be weird about this but I do need to mention that Japanese children are unbelievably adorable. All small children are adorable, but Japanese children all have matching hats and uniforms and backpacks, walk in packs—or solo because Japan is SO SAFE SO GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT THE 19-YEAR-OLD—and are simply the cutest thing I've ever seen. The international success of the show "old enough" is proof enough that the entire world is in agreement on this one.

In the burbs, we stumbled upon another massive temple, Seiryoji, which was completely empty except for us.

This is part of what's so amazing about Kyoto—there are amazing, ancient temples everywhere and they're all mixed into the city so well. Part of the reason this is unique to Kyoto is that America bombed most of the other major important cities in Japan and so completely obliterated most of their historic temples, which is, ya know, tough... But it also makes Kyoto uniquely beautiful and full of history. Kyoto was actually considered as a target for the atomic bomb, but the US chose Hiroshima and Nagasaki instead. According to America, they did this because they didn't want to completely obliterate a place with so much historical importance to the Japanese, but according to the museum at Hiroshima, it was because the geography of Hiroshima/Nagasaki meant that the bombs would have a larger impact and the US wanted to show how powerful the bombs were... Which is, ya know, tough...

We ended the day with a walk around Fushimi Inari, a Shinto shrine famous for the thousands of torii gates working their way up the mountain, which people began donating in the 1600s to try and make a wish come true. Somebody please please please sponsor a "High Speed Rail in America" gate as soon as humanly possible. We walked for about half an hour until the sun set and it got spooky, and so we headed back to the hostel.

Well, I did at least... I was exhausted because I had been up until 5 AM. Miles headed to a nearby bar/club to make more friends and get bought more drinks because he had been up until 4 AM and I think he is invincible. Or maybe just 19.

July 1: Nara

We got up in the morning to take the local train to Nara. Whoa see how I didn't even freak out about the train like I'm actually so chill so cool oh my god I can't hold it in any longer YEAAAAAAAH TRAAAAAINS WOOOOOOOOOO CHOO CHOO BITCH WOOOOOO

Nara sits about an hour outside of Kyoto, and it's a famous destination in Japan due to its deer park—if you've had friends visit, you've probably seen the photos. There are around 1200 of them in the park, and they are considered sacred messengers of the gods.

1200 is a LOT. At first you see a few and you're like "oh that's cool" and then all of a sudden they're EVERYWHERE.

They've learned how to bow in exchange for "deer crackers", although some of them are better at it than others. If you don't have crackers, they'll usually bow once for you if you bow at them, and then get visibly annoyed when you don't give them a treat. But others will just be headbanging all day.

The crackers are sold at several stands throughout the park, and the deer are well-aware of where these places are. Miles and I each bought a stack of the crackers, and immediately we were swarmed.

These deer may have been sacred messengers of the gods, but they also were fucking assholes about the crackers. Even as I was trying to break off crackers to feed them, they were biting my butt, my stomach, and my hands to try and get some.

After I had given away all of my crackers, the pack turned their attention towards Miles, and he immediately threw all of his crackers on the ground deciding it wasn't worth it. Smart move.

We returned to Kyoto for dinner at the Nishiki Market, a 400 year old market that does not feel like it's 400 years old and has lots of great food stands. We decided to hit a few bars, and so we started with one in the alley, continued to a "blues bar" where we were the only people except for the owner who was playing his guitar along to old VHS tapes of Stevie Ray Vaughn, and then a bar underneath the blues bar that was full of piles of the owner's photographs and photography books and would have been shut down instantly in the US for being the biggest fire hazard I've ever seen. Oh, and you were allowed to smoke inside of it.

Three bars was enough for my 28 year old ass, but not for Miles's 19 year old ass, so he went back to the club he'd gone to the night before and I headed back to the hostel. I'd wake up every 30 minutes to check his location and make sure he was alright. Then, at 2 AM, his location stopped updating, so I asked him to check in, and heard nothing for 45 minutes. I considered going back to sleep then imagined explaining to his family how I had left him alone with a dead phone in a foreign country where he doesn't speak the language, and so I put on my clothes and headed out into the pouring rain. I ran to his last known location and found a nightclub full of people who looked like they were his age, asked a couple of them if they'd seen a tall guy from Boston, but nobody had and he wasn't there. I was mildly terrified and wandered the streets until I saw a diner full of people eating and drinking and Miles—thank God—was directly in the middle of all of them. He had 4 plates of various foods in front of him and was in the middle of a drunken conversation with the Japanese businessmen sitting next to him, with whom he appeared to be sharing all of his food. When he saw me walk in, his face lit up and he went "YOOOOOO WHAT THE HELL THIS IS MY FRIEND!!!!!" I handed him a portable battery, said "buddy. charge your phone." and returned to the hostel to pass out (knowing that now at least I could check his location).

Personally I think I nailed the balance of being responsible for Miles while also making sure he had fun and also being well aware of the fact that there was no chance I could keep up with a 19 year old. I am quickly realizing that being 28 means you're a young old person, not an old young person :/

July 2: Last Day in Kyoto :')

While we had originally planned to make a day trip to Himeji Castle, we ended up watching the USA World Cup game and then running a few errands (Miles buying souvenirs and shipping them back home), and by the time we reached the train station, we realized that we wouldn't be able to make it to the castle before it was closed, so made a quick pivot, stayed in Kyoto, and walked around the Imperial Palace.

This was free to enter, but security was very strict—both of which were sort of unusual for major historical sites in Japan. Not sure that it's a must-see destination (it wasn't even on our itinerary originally) but it was interesting to learn about Japanese Imperial history, especially since it stretches all the way into the 20th century and usually when you hear the term "emperor" you think ancient, but this exhibit talked about the emperor's cars which is a crazy combination of words to me.

I had booked us a ryokan (traditional Japanese Inn) for our last night, and so we went there to check in, shower, and rest for a little bit. Miles insisted that he never was able to take naps then lay down on the tatami mat (not even the mattress) and was snoring in minutes. To be fair to the guy, he'd had a very long night—he told me that four separate people had bought him shots because of course they had—and then that morning he'd discovered that Jalen Brown had been traded and he said the news had been so upsetting that he hadn't been able to sleep well. Maybe this is why we burn down our cities over sports.

Ryokans are especially nice because they provide Yukata—traditional Japanese pajamas/robes. These feel almost as good as they look, and let's just say.... They look good.

For dinner, since it was Miles's last night, we'd made a reservation at an Omakase place called Gion Omakase Sushi Faro. The restaurant was run by two brothers, 25 and 26 years old, who had lived in Toronto for several years to train as chefs and then returned to Japan to open an omakase restaurant. The 13 courses were phenomenal, and one of the brothers was a licensed sake sommalier, so the sake pairings were also perfect. The brother preparing the sushi was a big NBA fan, and the people sitting next to us were from Philadelphia, so Miles got to talk shop about Jalen Brown and his broken heart.

To cap off the night, we wandered the area looking for a bar, and found one where there were two bartenders and one patron. The patron was probably in her 50s or 60s and absolutely hammered. She kept on forgetting that neither Miles nor I spoke Japanese, and would stand approximately 7 inches away from our faces and slur long sentences that we could not understand, at which point she'd stare at us blindly and then turn around and sit back down. The bar had karaoke set up, so the three of us (Miles, drunk lady, and I) traded off songs. After each song, the bartenders (who also spoke barely any English) would shout "HWAH!!!" exactly once and then ask Miles and I who the song was by, although they clearly had not heard of almost any of the artists we chose. "Who is MACK - LE - MORE???"

July 3-6: Return to Tokyo

The next morning we woke up far earlier than either of us would have liked so that Miles could get to the Tokyo airport on time for his flight. I thanked him for showing a young-old man a good time and he thanked me for "letting him come along" as if I hadn't begged him and his parents profusely to let him join me several months earlier. I told him to be safe in China and the next morning at 5 AM he sent me a video of himself watching the sunrise from the roof of a massive nightclub and saying "yooooo China is siiiickkkkkk." Love that boy.

I had some time to kill before I could check into my hostel, and so I decided to check out one of the TeamLabs locations. These are immersive digital art experiences throughout Japan, and people had said "oh yeah they're kinda cool I guess" and so I thought it would be a good way to kill an hour or so but then I got inside and it blew my mind in a way I did not expect. Maybe it was the 5 hours of sleep or maybe it was the fact that I'd done enough LED wiring/programming—my Rubiks cube Halloween costume that I wouldn't shut up about for months and worked on for approximately 200 hours—to know how difficult and time consuming creating this exhibit must have been.

It was called "borderless", and the whole place was covered in LED panels and projectors that featured different pieces by different artists that would move from room to room.

The whole place was connected in a labyrinth, and some smaller rooms that you could find had specific exhibits, but mostly you just wandered along with the art next to you. I kept thinking that I'd found my favorite room and then I would find another room that would immediately became my new favorite.

One would let you draw a sea creature and then they would scan your drawing and it would enter a room full of hundreds of peoples' drawings all swimming together. Many people just used this as an opportunity to draw their country's flag, but I decided that as an artist, I needed to teach them about true art. Teach them what it means to push boundaries and ask "Who are we? What are we? What is this crazy thing we call life?" So like a 21st century Rene Magritte, I said "this is not a turtle", and drew a turtle wearing a swimsuit and a snorkel. Pretty #deep when you think about it really. Who of us is really the animal? Whoaaaa.

Another room was full of mirrors and moving balls made of one-way mirrors, so when their internal lights came on, the whole room would explode in various colors.

My actual favorite was just hundreds of hanging LED strips that had been set up so that they could make rain or fire or even three-dimensional figures moving through the space, like birds or fish, all synchronized to music. I sat here for over an hour watching—the amount of work that must have gone into this, both artistically and technically, made my head swim like a turtle wearing a snorkel and it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Confession time: I love eating fast food while in foreign countries. Everyone always talks about how they want to "eat like a local," but if you go into any fast food restaurant, that's where the locals are actually eating, right? Plus, they usually have menu items we don't have in America so you get to try things that are usually either delicious or disgusting with no in-between. The teriykai chicken burger was ABSOLUTELY the former and it was the perfect thing to eat before I passed out for (not exaggerating) 12 hours straight.

I thought my 12-hour-straight sleep was clear evidence that I needed to take a weekend off. So I did almost nothing for the entire weekend and it was delightful. I read, I wrote, I did laundry, I ate Sushiro, I went for a run, and it was really nice to take a break from being a tourist and focus on being a person for a little while. I met up again with Caro and one of her coworkers, Alicia, for drinks at a few listening/cocktail bars, and this also felt very non-touristy since they're both living/working here so it was really just a calm nice night out for a few great drinks. One of the places specialized in absinthe cocktails, and I don't think absinthe has historically been associated with "chill vibes", but I'm proof it's possible.

The only other big task I accomplished was mailing back a bunch of the things I'd bought in Tokyo. This ended up being a massive pain—customs and tariffs and laws made it very difficult and very expensive, so I would not recommend doing this unless you're in a situation like mine where you're going to more destinations afterwards and so it's sorta necessary. There are so many cool and unique things to buy in Japan and things are so cheap that it is definitely worth it to do a lot of shopping, but if you can manage to take most/all of it in your bags (or if you're traveling straight back to the US and so can buy/fill an extra bag while you're there) that is definitely the way to do it because hoo mama this was a Kafkaesque nightmare that took the better part of a day.

Anyways, after a very needed very restful weekend, I took the train down to Osaka (my favorite place in the whole world fans of this blog will remember and for non-fans of this blog I am being sarcastic I really didn't like it there). I was only going for one night since I had to get to Koyasan, a remote sacred mountain with many monasterys where I'd be spending the next day.

On this train ride, I discovered 2 things:

1. My ex was back on Hinge
2. Japanese people do NOT know how to handle a white boy crying on the Shinkansen

Oh boy, you know what time it is! Radical honesty time! Introspective personal essay and oversharing time! Yaaaay!!!

This trip has (obviously) been amazing. I've been having unbelievable experiences, checking off bucket list item after bucket list item, and experiencing moments of true joy and awe. I'm so grateful that I get to do this, and I feel so ridiculously lucky.

But I'm also doing it while still experiencing the worst heartbreak of my life, and I'm alone in a foreign country on a trip that I had hoped she'd be joining me for long stretches of. I've got no real routine, I can't keep up a consistent exercise schedule, and my support system is 7000 miles away and only awake at the same time as me for a few hours a day. I'm doing everything I can to try and be healthy and stay present and enjoy every moment and do all the things you're supposed to do to process a breakup, but it's been really hard. And at times, I've been really sad.

To be clear—I don't begrudge her being on Hinge at all. I hope she's finding all the happiness the world has to offer, and I hope the men of New York City Hinge are treating her well. Really, truly. But it's also hard to see her taking steps to move on, especially when I'm not able to do the same.

So some travel advice for anyone planning a similar trip: don't get dumped immediately before leaving the country for 6 months! Because losing her meant losing a big part of what made New York City feel like a home for the last year. So when I get homesick—which is bound to happen when you're solo traveling—a lot of the time I get homesick for her. And when that happens, I don't get the relief that comes with knowing that that piece of home is still there waiting for me when I get back. I just get sad.

OOF SORRY THAT GOT REALLY DEPRESSING. I PROMISE I'M GOOD I'M REALLY GOOD I'M HAVING A FANTASTIC TIME I'M HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND DOING SOMETHING AWESOME AND AMAZING THAT I LOVE! And like 90% of the time I'm living in the moment and thriving and in a good and healthy place. You don't need to worry about me I swear!!!

But also solo travel isn't always easy, it isn't always fun, and there are times when you're going to be homesick and sad—especially when you're still grappling with some pretty intense grief.

Sorry if that was weird of me to share!! You maybe weren't wanting to read or know that! But part of the reason I wanted to do a travel blog and not just social media for this trip is because I wanted a place where I could be honest, where I could put more of "the real me" out there. Obviously everything is curated and edited and there's no such thing as "the real me" when you're creating and also typing the phrase "the real me" made me feel so pretentious that I considered smashing my laptop so I could never write again. But I did want there to be something more than just the Instagram photos of me smiling and the amazing places I'm seeing and the cool things I'm doing, because that's not all that's happening to me right now. I want a record of how it was, how it really was, and I want the people who care about me enough to read this whole blog to know how I'm really doing. And also because I'm the most interesting man in the world and so naturally everybody wants to know every single thought that's ever happened inside of my head.

So, yes, I did cry in front of many Japanese strangers on the bullet train. And yes, I'm still taking the breakup pretty hard—if it wasn't obvious by the fact that I cried on a FREAKING BULLET TRAIN YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE BULLET TRAINS.

But also, I promise I'm good. I'm going to be alright, and I'm going to be great. It's just gonna take some time, and traveling doesn't really lend itself super well to processing things and rebuilding your life—it's more like starting a new one, which is great, but also kinda sucks when a part of that new life is something you didn't want and didn't choose.

When I got off the train in Osaka, I dropped my stuff at my hotel and headed to a local karaoke spot to try and lift my spirits a bit. The people there were very friendly, it was a bunch of local bartenders hanging out on their night off, many of whom were international and doing "work holiday" programs. Which I was not aware was such a big thing and is yet another reason being American is a big ole bummer sometimes. If you're not gonna give us high speed rail at least let us live somewhere with it for a little bit PLEASE. Then one of the bartenders sang "Somewhere Only We Know" and started talking about his recent breakup and then everybody started talking about their recent breakups and I was like I CAME TO KARAOKE TO ESCAPE THIS and so I turned in early and got ready to head to Koyasan where I could at least be sure the monks wouldn't be talking about their breakups. Or at least I hoped so...

I'll tell you all about it in the next blog post!! Bye!!!